Fatigue
by Silvel-chan
Summary: The sensation of fingers brushing through his short curls sent an oddly warm sensation through his body. It was soothing, almost parental like. He found himself struggling to keep his eyes open.


BP: I really can't resist this

**BP:** I really can't resist this. I love DeathNote too much to actually give up on writing another one. So, here's a short little drabble. Its set shortly after Mello's death.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, ya'll.

/

**Fatigue**

Lack of sleep was something Near was used to. He'd gone night after night without sleep before, but there was something about working on the Kira case that was slowly starting to cause the normally emotionless boy to unwind. He'd found minor mistakes in his judgments and ideas that he knew would never work sprouting from his mind. It was almost like he was losing it.

Tonight was just like every other night; though this time he was going to attempt to get some sleep. He'd already gone nearly a week without it and he wasn't sure if he could keep it up. In the situation he was placed in at the moment he couldn't afford to slip up. One mistake would be his life. The only problem was he didn't want to go to sleep. He didn't want to see the nightmares that always followed after him when he closed his eyes.

A tired yawn escaped his lips as he placed down his latest toy. A few moments of trying to rub the sleep away ended if failure and he simply gave up and chose to ignore it.

"You should get to sleep, Near." A voice spoke before him. Near's head shot up in shock. No one should have been in this section of the building except him. When his eyes gazed at the direction the voice had come from he found that there was no one there. He looked around, trying to remain calm as he twirled a few strands of hair between his fingers. He was positive he'd heard a voice…

'_I'm just too tired, that's all.' _Near shook his head softly, fingers releasing the curls as he reached down to pick up the robot that had been in his hands. He touched nothing but floor. Black eyes stared down before the boy as he looked around once more. Was he going crazy? No. He was sure he had just been playing with a toy. Actually, he was positive. It was rare for him to be seen without one these days.

He hugged his knee to his chest and sighed into the fabric of his pajama pants.

There it was. It was sitting on top of his toy box…way on the other side of the room. _'Perhaps…I really am losing it.' _He sighed once more before he pushed himself from the floor to head over and pick up his toy once more. Surely he could get a few more hours in before he collapsed from exhaustion.

"Damnit, Near. Don't you ever know when stop playing with your stupid toys?" A flash of blonde was seen from the corner of his eye and he whipped around to see the figure. No one. His breathing pattern had sped up by now, fingers nervously gripping and twirling at his white locks as he tried to find a way to explain what was going on.

'_It's just fatigue. I'm tired and my body is trying to force me into a state of rest. Perhaps shocking me into one by making me hear things that aren't there.'_

Near tried to shake the thoughts from his head as he reached toward the toy. Before his fingers came into contact with it, the object teetered off the edge and crashed into the floor.

"Even I know when to stop playing games, Near."

A snort.

"No you don't."

"Oh shut up Me-"

'_No…no…no.' _Near closed his eyes as he turned away from the fallen figure and made his way to his bedroom. _'Snap out of it Near. You're just hearing things.'_

"What would the others think if they saw you like this?"

'_Perhaps if I can just get a few more hours of rest they'll go away. No more fatigue, no more sleep deprivation. Think logically about this.'_

Near was actually trying not to think as he slipped his body under the cool covers. Covers that he hadn't slept under if six days.

'_Maybe this is the price that comes with taking over as L. Does ones sanity begin to slip away? No. Perhaps I really am just too stressed over the Kira case.'_

A few hours ticked by found the white-haired male still awake, though the covers had been kicked down around his feet. He was cold but he didn't feel like lifting up enough to grab them and pull them back around his body. He just wanted to lie there. Every now and then he'd close his eyes in hope of catching a few moments of rest, but he was only met with images of his past and what the future might hold if he failed. All the nightmares he had ever experience where in his mind and he knew that eventually he'd actually have to go to sleep. He could never escape them.

Near rolled over onto his side and stared at the blank wall. His eyes were halfway shut and his breathing came in steady rhythms. He was calm…but he wasn't asleep. Sleeping was what should be the most important thing at the moment and he couldn't even do that right.

"It'll all be okay."

'_Will it?'_

"Go to sleep, idiot."

'_I'm too afraid….'_

"He's just being grouchy. He won't let anything get you."

'_Will you keep me safe?'_

"Shut it, Ma-"

'_Why can't I hear your names?'_

"Just got to sleep, Near."

The sensation of fingers brushing through his short curls sent an oddly warm sensation through his body. It was soothing, almost parental like. He found himself struggling to keep his eyes open. Even though there was a soft whispering for him not to fight it, he really wanted to turn around and see if he could spot the people that were talking to him. Near found his body nearly frozen though. Heavy with sleep and fatigue, he found his mind fading into the contours of unconsciousness till the voices were no longer his concern.

Gloved hands picked up the covers that were at the bottom of the bed and slowly spread them across the fragile looking boy. A man with raven hair glanced curiously at his blonde companion, wondering about the meaning behind the actions.

"What? If I left him uncovered you wouldn't have done anything and if he gets sick Kira could get him! If that happens where the hell does that leave us?"

"Dunno, but it leaves me to wonder how you're here with me and L with a mouth like that." A red head chuckled from the side, hands stuffed in his pockets as he tried to dodge a smack that his friend was sending his way.

"Stop it, you two. You'll wake him up." The raven-haired male sighed.

"He can't even hear us if we don't want him to." The blonde whined.

"Perhaps…but maybe he wants to hear us bad enough that he can. Perhaps…that's even why he does this. Maybe he puts himself through so much fatigue that he knows, even if it's just in his mind, he'll be able to hear us."

"That's just idiotic."

"That's just Near."

A large grin spread across L's face as he watched the smaller boy smile in his sleep, reaching to clutch a small plush rabbit to his chest.

Yes…pushing himself to do the impossible. That really was Near.

/

**BP:** Rewrote the ending a few times. Still not satisfied with it though. Anyway, read and review please! Cookies may be involved if you do. OH! SHAMELESS PLUG! If you liked this fic (that'll be rare XD) check out my last DeathNote story, I'm Just a Kid.


End file.
